He who assaults his father and drives his mother away
is a shameful and disgraceful son.

Proverbs 19:26

Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace. Proverbs 19:26 [NLT]

The word “chase” means exactly what we would assume it means: cause to flee, put to flight, to drive way. Are you like me and wonder how this verse can possibly apply and think there is no way I have or will drive my mother away? Likely, we have not done so with actual force, I pray not! But, let’s think about ways that we might chase away our mothers in other subtler and not so subtle ways.

1. We can chase away our mothers by ignoring them by design. If our relationship with our moms is less than good, ignoring them by choice is actually pretty easy for us, but can be tragically difficult for our moms. We older moms are not stupid and we know when our calls and texts and emails are being ignored or trivialized. We know when we are willfully being driven away, not by force, but by a deliberate plan of separation. We may “deserve it” but it is still painful for all concerned…if we are honest. We must remember God desires restoration and as the mother or the child we can always honestly pray for such restoration. 
2. We can chase away our mothers by priority shifts and apathy. The priority shifts are part of God’s design, the apathy is not. The command is to “leave and cleave” not “cut off all ties and escape”. For thousands of years generational families lived within the same home space or compound and that is still true in some areas of the world. Not that I advocate that in today’s modern society. But, for wives, especially, her husband’s mother seems to be treated as an automatic adversary to just put up with when no other course of action is an option. Visits and calls and texts shouldn’t be limited to holidays, birthdays and Mother’s Day. Nor should those same communications be a drudgery. 
3. We can chase our mothers away with insensitive jokes and snide remarks. I truly am shocked to hear how some adults speak to their mothers and about their mothers. The complexity of the mother and adult child relationship is very real, I know this, and especially as our sweet mothers age and horrible things like dementia take over their lives. But, I’ve heard horrible conversations about aging mothers by their children and I’ve heard the most beautiful and respectful things being said by adult children about their aging mothers. The later doesn’t live in la’la land that there aren’t any difficulties and heartache. It is just that they keep the honor and respect of their mothers a priority as they navigate the aging process with her. 
4. We can chase away our mothers by a patronizing attitude! I do not like being patronized by anyone. I don’t know anyone who does like that! And, yet, it seems so easy to allow a condescending spirit to build up within us that eventually it just has to spew out in some fashion. I just heard a pastor say, “You will have little regret for the words you never say; but you will always regret the words you wished you had not said at all!” And it all starts in our spirit. If we have an unkind spirit toward our mothers, she will find out…somehow, just like she always has found who it was who stole that cookie from the cookie jar! 

It basically comes down to exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit first and foremost to our mothers and from a very early age this should be taught to our kids; our mothers’ grandkids. If our children are taught by our words and actions to treat our their mother and their grandmothers with the fruit of the Spirit, it be a big leap in learning to treat all the “others” in our lives with that same fruit of the Spirit! 

Galatians 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peach, patience kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control: against such things there is no law.