Scorners set a city aflame,
but wise men turn away anger.

 Proverbs 29:8

In the last four years we have watched in real time and in real cities what happens when scorners take control and rally a mob to actions that no single individual would do alone. This first half of this verse has played out in so many ways and in so many cities around the world, that I fear the on-looking populace has actually become callous to the flames and the destruction. Shame on us!

I know that I have often felt helpless to do anything about these horrifying events and, honestly, there probably isn’t anything I can do personally in these specific situations. But, I can’t just hide in a cave a pretend the world will just pass me by or that I can just mind my own business and everyone will leave me alone. In today’s world, that is not the case. 

But, I can be wise within my circle of influence and you can too. We can use wisdom to learn the skills and principles for dealing with an angry person or dispelling angry situations. In fact, I would argue in our current culture of ‘everyone is angry and deserves to be angry’ that it is imperative for us to learn these skills. I often do not handle such situations wisely, but sometimes I get it right.

I was at the nail salon I normally used, (not the town where I currently reside) and I felt as soon as I walked in that there was tension. I had no idea why. Another lady came in soon after and there was one woman already seated and being served. To say she was angry is an understatement. I wish I had grasped the situation before my feet were in the water. For several minutes those of us in the salon had to listen to her vulgar attacks against the young woman doing her pedicure; swear words, racial slurs, and just plain ugliness. Eventually, the staff member began shouting back at this woman and began to roughly handle her feet. You can imagine how well that went over. The customer threatened to call the cops, had her phone in hand and went on another tirade. 

The woman beside me was nearly in tears and the other staff were shaking physically. I wondered why none of the staff were handling the situation. I imagine they were too afraid. At length, and with no calming of the situation, God helped me speak up; calmly (not my nature) and in pleasant tones and looking straight at these two women about to come to blows! I don’t even remember exactly what I said, but God used my words and demeanor to deescalate the situation by a few degrees. The police were not called. Another staff member tried to take over the pedicure for the angry woman and the abused staff member went to the back room. The rude customer demanded her feet be dried, put on her sandals and stalked out. Several sighs of relief were exhaled at the same time, including mine. All this over a pedicure! That was years ago, but seems to be the norm in 2024!

The only credit I take in this situation is that some bit of wisdom in me was used by God to quell an increasingly dangerous situation. To Him all glory and praise! Our search for wisdom is not in vain. God will use it for His purposes.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowled acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.

Proverbs 15: 1-2